I just celebrated the three year mark since my craniotomy. I’ve been…well, sorta gone this past year. See, the last year has been its own kind of special place. As my thinking has returned to something approaching normal, managing the rising complexity of thoughts has been challenging at times. And many many things, like this blog, fell to the wayside.
Basically, I’m back to normal. By that I mean: anything that’s left over from the event is now part of the new normal. My synapsis are back, things are ducky except I simply don’t recall a bunch of stuff and I get overwhelmed easily. It’s pretty unpredictable what I recall about anything and what I don’t. An example: for the life of me I couldn’t recall how to do a post on this blog. I’ve blogged for a long time so that was a surprise but oh well! I stayed with it, it came back, bit by bit.
By new normal I mean: that’s just the way it is. I totally accept it all. seriously.
I just had my yearly MRI, everything looks good. Physically, I’m back on track…working out, riding my bike, doing stuff. That part of my recovery, the physical life I used to have, was slow to come back. The reasons are complex but part of it is this weird thing: confidence. When you lose the cognitive abilities you’ve counted on your entire life, well, that loss has a profound impact. The other weird loss was desire…the desire to do things, it turns out, is oddly complex.
But so anyway, I’m back. Really back.
This morning I got a comment on this blog that got me to thinking again about the exceptionally jungle-like adventure of life post-BI/crantiomoy. That comment coincided with some floaty thoughts about this blog.
I still have all the stuff–the pictures, the journal entries, the experiences– I kept during the early part of my recovery. And if those tidbits are the least bit helpful to others, then color me a happy camper.
Cerebellum Interruptus 